Posted on Mar 18, 2015 |
Question submitted to “Ask the Rabbi” by: Name: Kelly City: Lynchburg, Virginia Age: 29 Profession: Counselor Full Question: “Why is one of the requirements of the Nazarite vow for a man not to cut their hair? What is the significance of side curls?” Rabbi Tully Bryks responds: A Nazir is someone who obligates himself to refrain from certain material pleasures that are normally permitted. The prohibitions include: No grapevine products, including alcohol, grapes and raisins No haircuts or shaving No coming in contact with Tumah (impurity) that derives from dead bodies As a general rule, becoming a Nazir is frowned upon in Judaism, as we believe that G-d gave us this world to enjoy! To help bring this point home, after completes their vow of being a Nazir (the default length is one month), the Nazir must shave off all his hair and then bring a Korban Chatas (a sin offering), in recognition that it was not ideal. However, if taking a vow to become a Nazir will protect someone from a sin, then it would be permitted and even commended. The example given by the Jerusalem Talmud Nedarim (vows) 29A is a case when one witnesses a woman going through the Sotah process (the result of infidelity). One possible explanation is that at such a juncture, he may be enticed to sin as well. By immediately taking a Nazarite vow, he will be less likely to succumb to his temptations. And this would provide an answer to your hair question as well, since by having to shave off all of his hair at the culmination of his 30 days, he would now be in a less likely position to get entangled with infidelity himself. Regarding your second question about Peyos (side curls), the Torah commands men “not to cut off the hair on the side of your heads.” There is a difference of opinion as to how far down the side this prohibition extends. A common interpretation is that the prohibition extends down to the joints near our ears, which is why observant men typically don’t have very short sideburns. Others, including many in the Hassidic community, understand that it extends much further, which is one of the reasons for the custom of Peyos. There is much symbolism to this practice as...
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Posted on Mar 14, 2015 |
Question submitted to “Ask the Rabbi” by: Name: Shevi Lebovics City: London Age: 20 Profession: Social Programme Coordinator Full Question: “This is not a wishy woshy question, its just a simple Halachic question: I work in a care home and I run the programme for the elderly. Part of my job requires me to find someone to lien on Shabbos for the homes shul. Some people do it voluntarily for free, however some ask for payment. I faintly remember learning that there is a problem to pay someone for a job that they do on shabbos. Is that true? If yes, is there a way to go about it?” Rabbi Tully Bryks responds: You are correct that Jewish law prohibits earning money on Shabbos (the Sababth). So what happens in your case when you need someone to Lein (read the Torah) or many other jobs that observant Jews accept such as a Synagogue rabbi or Chazzan (cantor)? As long as the job requires work PRIOR to the onset of Shabbos, which all of these jobs do (preparing the Torah portion, preparing a sermon or preparing the Prayer tunes), then it can be done. The ideal would be to stipulate that you are specifically paying the person for the efforts which they exert prior to Shabbos, but are not paying them for anything they do on Shabbos...
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Posted on Mar 13, 2015 |
Question submitted to “Ask the Rabbi” by: Name: Leanne City: Pompano Beach, Florida Full Question: “Can you please tell me if gambling is a sin. I like to play bingo and sometimes the slots. I now have a greater understanding of the whole Torah, but I cannot find the answer to that question in the Torah” Rabbi Tully Bryks responds: Although gambling is not expressly addressed by the Torah itself, regular gambling is prohibited by Jewish law as a form of stealing. One common explanation is that both parties expect to win and certainly didn’t want to lose. As such, when one party does lose money, even though they had verbally agreed to the terms, it is still considered theft according to the Jewish law, since they never really wanted to part with their money. Based on this rationale, some would permit gambling under certain circumstances. Here are three examples: Gambling in a Casino – If someone wins money gambling in a casino, we don’t need to worry about the losses to the casino, since they come out ahead overall. The problem is that most people lose money at a casino. So the potential way around this would be for a person to stipulate a specific amount of money that they are prepared to spend (lose) for a fun day (or hour) at the casino. Just as it is common for people to pay $50-$100 for a good day at an amusement park, or $20 for a hour or two of fun playing arcade games, it would be reasonable for a person to proclaim that they are willing to spend $50 for the joy of playing games with all of the frills associated with a casino (the stipulation must be sincere). Such a person would have to stick with their preset daily spending, no matter what. It is worth noting that even though such a strategy would address the theft concern, many authorities would still prohibit gambling in a casino due to the negative overall environment and damage that is done to society. Unfortunately, it is often poor people who lose the most, and gambling addictions have destroyed families. Purchasing a Lottery Ticket – If a person is sad every time they don’t win, then it could be a problem. But if a person focuses on who is being helped by the lottery, such as schools or hospitals, and is perfectly happy to spend (or donate) that $1 towards helping that particular cause, then even the loss could be considered a gain and not theft. Bingos and Raffles to support Tzedakah (charities) – If a person’s main focus is supporting the institution and any incidental winnings are looked at merely as a side benefit, then this would be the least problematic of all all forms of gambling. It is worth noting that if a person wishes to deduct their...
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Posted on Mar 12, 2015 |
Question submitted to “Ask the Rabbi” by: Name: Dawn Full Question: “During the betrothal time, while the groom is preparing their home, are the bride and groom allowed to see one another or speak to one another?” Rabbi Tully Bryks responds: I’m not sure what you mean by the “betrothal time”, but if you are referring to a time period after a couple is engaged, there are several different customs. Some people will not speak or see each other at all once they are engaged, even if the engagement period lasts several months. Others will refrain from seeing each other, but will still speak. While most communities do not have a blanket rule against either of those, many will still keep contact to a minimum once they are engaged. During the week prior to the wedding, there is a widespread custom to refrain from seeing each other (which some apply to speaking as well). And the most prevalent and universal custom is to refrain from any contact the day of the wedding itself. As a result, the practice of postponing some of the wedding pictures until after the ceremony can be a difficult balancing act between trying to adhere to this custom, while at the same time, not placing a large burden on the wedding guests, by making them wait for the bride and groom for an extended period of time. Regardless of one’s particular custom, there are many potential benefits to limiting communication between the engagement and marriage ceremony. Here are just a handful: The temporary separation helps to build the suspense and excitement for the enhanced post-marriage relationship. Wedding preparations can sometimes become stressful. Occasionally, even trivial disagreements can lead to major family feuds. As such, it is also a good idea for the engaged couple to try to be as uninvolved as possible with many of the wedding details, such as color themes, decorations and the like. The dating process often causes one to neglect work, school, friends, family or all of the above. Once that match has been made, limiting interactions for a few months can help people put their lives back in order, especially as it is about to undergo an even bigger upheaval. The prohibition against intimacy before marriage (“Shomer Negia”) can become more challenging as passions reach new heights and the marriage date gets closer. Different customs aside, weddings tend to be a time of pure joy that is shared by the bride and groom, together with their friends and family. To learn more about how to find that special someone, see my article on Finding your Soul...
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Posted on Mar 11, 2015 |
Question submitted to “Ask the Rabbi” by: Name: Jay City: Liverpool Age: 26 Profession: Military Full Question: “Hi, I have a question regarding tattoos. My grandmother passed away a few years ago and I have been thinking for a long while about getting her name tattooed in Hebrew as she used to wear a necklace of the same design, and I already have a few tattoos. Neither myself nor my grandmother are Jewish. However, she had very close ties with Jewish communities and would often spend summers visiting friends and family in Israel. I am aware that tattoos are not allowed and was wondering if it would cause any offense if I was to have a Hebrew tattoo? Thanks,” Rabbi Tully Bryks responds: Thank you so much for your meaningful and sensitive question! You are correct that permanent tattoos are prohibited according to Jewish law. That being said, we do not impose our laws on other people. We believe that all of mankind are the children of G-d. We also believe that as children of G-d, there are seven basic moral tenets that everyone should follow. The remaining 613 commandments of the Torah (Bible), plus the thousands of rabbinic commandments are only binding on Jews. As such, there would be no need for you to refrain from getting a tattoo, regardless of the language used. With regard to Holocaust survivors, it is interesting to note that some Rabbinic authorities have encouraged them them to keep their tattoos and wear them as badges of honor. Regarding the question of causing offense, while I certainly can’t speak for anyone else, I view it as a beautiful gesture to your mother. In addition, the honor you are giving her is further magnified by the fact that you even took the time to ask this question to assure that your noble gesture was not tainted in any...
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